Michelle’s* story | Drew’s* story | Need help?
Today, on Economic Abuse Awareness Day, Council on the Ageing (COTA) Victoria and Seniors Rights Victoria (SRV) are drawing attention to one of the most common, yet least recognised forms of family violence affecting older people.
For many older Victorians, economic abuse is carried out quietly, through pressure, control, exploitation, or the gradual erosion of financial independence. Like other forms of elder abuse, economic abuse is typically perpetrated by adult children, partners, or other trusted family members.
While SRV plays a leading role in this space, COTA Victoria’s Policy and Advocacy team will continue to listen to older women, raise awareness of their experiences, and advocate for those affected by systemic barriers to financial security.
Our research and engagement will culminate in a report outlining the key causes of financial insecurity for older Victorian women, often rooted in lifelong inequalities that leave them worse off in later life. This work will inform a report with system-level and place-based recommendations, as well as service improvements that support effective prevention and intervention.
Economic abuse rarely happens in isolation. Many who experience financial abuse also experience psychosocial harm, neglect, or social isolation. It can trap older people in unsafe homes, undermine their ability to meet basic needs, and devastate their long-term financial security.
Below, you will find stories which reflect the experiences of many older Victorians whose financial lives are controlled, exploited, or stripped away by those closest to them. To protect anonymity, identifying properties have been changed.
Michelle’s* story
Michelle was 61 when she first reached out for help. She had been living with her daughter and her grandkids in a house they had bought together. She put most of her retirement savings into that home because she wanted to give her family stability.
“I thought I was doing the right thing,” she said.
But over time, things changed. Her daughter became controlling, angry, and abusive; physically, financially, and emotionally. The kids saw it too. Everyone felt like they were walking on eggshells.
Michelle didn’t believe she could leave the situation; if she did, she worried that her grandkids would be taken away from her daughter. She stayed because she felt like she was all they had, even though staying hurt her too.
The money problems piled up. Her daughter stopped paying her share of the mortgage, and Michelle was struggling to keep up. She had to choose between basics like groceries and covering bills. It felt like there was no way out. For years, she tried to hold everything together. She wanted her daughter to change. She wanted to protect her grandkids.
“I kept hoping things would get better if I just tried hard enough,” she said. “But they didn’t.”
Six years after she first sought support, she finally realised she had to do something for herself. She reluctantly made the decision to surrender her property.
“It wasn’t easy,” she said. “That house had been my savings and the home I hoped to spend the rest of my life in. When it was lost, it felt like losing everything I’d worked for.
“I’m trying to rebuild now,” Michelle continued. “Some days are better, some aren’t. I’m safer, but I’m also grieving for my home and for the relationship I wished I could have had with my daughter.
“Family violence doesn’t stop when you get older, and it isn’t always a partner. Sometimes it’s your own child. Leaving isn’t simple when love, guilt, and money are tied up together.”
Drew’s* story
“I thought helping my daughter was the right thing to do,” said Drew. “I didn’t realise my love for her was being used against me, and that I was losing my savings and control over my life.”
Drew had always been careful with money. He worked part-time throughout his life, raised his children on a tight budget, and entered his late 60s with modest but stable savings. When his adult daughter separated from her partner, Drew didn’t hesitate to offer help.
His daughter moved in “just for a few months” with her two children. Drew covered groceries and bills while his daughter “got back on her feet.” Within weeks, however, his daughter convinced him to add her name to Drew’s bank account “to make things easier.” Soon after, Drew noticed withdrawals he didn’t recognise. When he confronted his daughter, he was told he was being dramatic and ungrateful. The money was “for the kids,” or for “things the house needed.”
The situation worsened when his daughter suggested they buy a car together. Drew contributed the deposit, but the car was registered solely in his daughter’s name. His daughter then took out multiple buy-now-pay-later accounts using Drew’s details, explaining it all away as temporary cash flow issues.
Within a year, Drew’s savings were gone and his credit score had collapsed. He started falling behind on utility bills and felt too ashamed to tell friends or family what was happening. Every time he raised concerns, his daughter would cry, accuse him of “choosing money over family,” or threaten to move out and take the grandchildren with her. The emotional pressure kept Drew silent.
When Drew received a debt collection notice for an account he didn’t know existed, he reached out for help. A financial counsellor supported him to understand his rights, challenge the debts, and close the joint accounts. He now has safeguards in place to protect his finances and is slowly rebuilding his independence.
Experiencing similar situations? Here’s where you can go for help.
These stories show that abuse in later life is not only personal — it’s systemic. Addressing it requires better policy settings, more accessible services and sustained investment in prevention and early intervention.
If you are experiencing financial hardship, harm, or stress, you can contact a financial counsellor for free, independent, and non-judgemental information, advice, and advocacy. The National Debt Line can be reached at 1800 007 007; its website also lets you find a counsellor in your local area.
COTA Victoria and Seniors Rights Victoria remain committed to advocating for a safer, more just future for all older people.
If you are in Victoria and experiencing economic abuse or any other form of elder abuse, help is available through Seniors Rights Victoria’s confidential helpline on 1300 368 821. Our website – seniorsrights.org.au – also features resources for concerned friends or family members.
For nationwide assistance, please call 1800 ELDERHelp (1800 353 374). You can also access additional resources in 20 different languages using the Australian Human Rights Commission website.
If it is an emergency, call 000.